Hi guys, it's week 7 of the NFL season and it's time for my fantasy update. Everyone is so interested in fantasy these days and I don't quite understand it but I have to get with the times and give the audience what they need.
This week however, my fantasy is unchanged. I'm sitting there in the stable, just hangin' out and watchin' some Sportscenter on my 5-D paper-thin screened 9 million Hz Sony LIFEPROJECTOR TV when suddenly two hot ass mares walk up to the stable. I'm kinda tired today ladies, plus I'm selfish as hell, so I don't want to disappoint you two and I'm going to have to decline. Because obviously they wanted to bang, who doesn't?
That's when one surprises me and says "Biz - take it easy today. We just want you to lay back and enjoy this". Suddenly I'm pushed back into some hay and these girls go to town. Just straight up doin' work, blowing the horse like the winner gets added to the cast of Real Housewives. I didn't see a bus route outside, but these girls are just going to town.
Right as I'm about to finish, I take a look at the TV, and across the scroll I read that Derek Jeter just admitted to using steroids every season over his entire career. At that moment, I paint the barn walls with an explosion reminiscent of the Hindenburg. Every square inch of that barn is going to need sanitized. I lay back and smile....for this was my Jackson Pollock moment.
So yeah, that's still my fantasy. I'll update you in Week 8 if it changes.